WHAT IS TEEN DATING VIOLENCE?

A pattern of behavior used by an individual to maintain control over their dating partner. This control may take the form of physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. Dating violence is not about getting angry or having a disagreement – in an abusive dating  relationship one partner is afraid of and intimidated by the other.

The legal definition of domestic violence or dating violence is physical harm, bodily injury or assault, infliction of fear of imminent physical harm or sexual assault.

HOW OFTEN DOES IT HAPPEN?

  • 89% of teens between ages 13 and 18 say they have been in dating relationships.
  • 70% of high school girls and 52% of high school boys who are abused report an injury from an abusive relationship
  • 1 in 3 female teens in a dating relationship fear for their safety.
  • Teens who are victims of dating violence are not only at risk for injury, but are also more likely to report binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, and current sexual activity.
  • 40% of teenagers age 14 to 17 reported knowing someone their age that has been hit or beaten by their boyfriend.
  • Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser.

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?

  •  Jealousy  and possessiveness.
  • Name-calling, put downs, humiliation, threats, stalking, rumors, or intimidation.
  • Pushing, shoving, slapping, hitting, throwing objects, or using weapons.
  • Unwanted sexual touch,  forced sex, refusal to use birth control.

WHO IS INVOLVED?

  • Dating violence occurs between two people who are currently or formerly involved in a dating relationship.
  • The abuse can begin at a very young age, as young as 11 or 12 years old.
  • Friends of the couple are usually aware of the abuse and may be drawn into the situation.

WHERE CAN IT HAPPEN?

  •  Dating violence can occur at school – in the hall, in the classroom, in the parking lot, on the bus, at after-school activities, at a student’s workplace, at a school dance, or at a student’s home.
  • In teenage dating relationships, the abuse is often public with peers witnessing the abuse; however, the abuse can also be done  in private, by cell phone or private setting.

THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE SHOULDN'T HURT

Every person has the right to live in a peaceful environment free from abuse.
1 in 3  teens in a dating relationship report being abused. 1-2 teens report compromising their beliefs to please their partners.        (Survey conducted for Liz Claiborne)

Girls stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. For adolescent girls there is a rigidity in conforming to female gender role expectations, specifically the expectation that her status depends on her attachment to a male.
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​Abusive relationships occur among all classes, races, and cultural groups. An abusive relationship can happen to anyone.

SAFETY PLANNING FOR TEENS IN ABUSIVE DATING RELATIONSHIPS

The following are tips you might think about to increase your safety if you are in an abusive relationship.
  • Stay in touch with your friends;  and, make  it a point to spend time with  people other than your partner.
  • Stay involved in activities that you enjoy. Don’t stop doing things that you enjoy or  that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Make new friends. Increase your support network.
  • Take self-defense class.
  • Consider looking into resources at your school or in the community.  Think about joining a support group or calling a crisis line.

BEING A FRIEND TO A VICTIM OF ABUSE

  • If you notice a friend is in an abusive relationship, don’t ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
  • Express your concerns. Tell your friend you’re worried. Support, don’t judge.
  • Point out your friend’s strengths– many people  in abusive relationships are no longer capable of seeing their own abilities
  • and gifts.
  • Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult. Talk to a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse. Offer to go with them for help.
  • Never  put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim’s partner. Don’t be a mediator.
  • Call the police if you witness an assault. Tell an adult – a school principal, parent, guidance counselor.

10 FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW

  1. ​Since much of violence is learned, it can be unlearned.
  2. Violence is preventable; it is not inevitable.
  3. The seeds for adult interpersonal violence are planted while young.
  4. Sexism, racism and other socially sanctioned forms of violence affect interpersonal relationships.
  5. Teenage relationships must be taken seriously.
  6. Male teenagers must be educated about their aggressive impulses, but not by being  seen as the “enemy”.
  7. Empowerment lies in moving through victimization, not being stuck in it.
  8. Young people are capable of taking responsibility for creating violence-free relationships and environments.
  9. Media influences attitudes and behavior and contributes to the desensitization to violence.
  10. A  violence-prevention training program/ curriculum cannot end violence on its own. Communities and families have to work together, with support from other Institutions, to provide a positive future for our young people.

OTHER WAYS TO HELP

  • Start a peer education program on teen dating violence.
  • Create bulletin boards in the school cafeteria or classroom to raise awareness.
  •  Perform a play about teen dating violence.
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